On December 5 (2007) my mom passed away after a 26 month fight against lung cancer that had metastasized into her bones.  She was diagnosed in September of 2005 after having a pain in the back of her neck that would not go away.  Like many stories you will hear she was given around six months to live and with each month that passed continued to amaze doctors, family and friends.  To me she always seemed very passive and submissive, and to tell you the truth I thought that she would just let the sickness overtake her without any signs of a struggle, but the fight she displayed over that time was nothing short of remarkable.  Since I can barely see the keyboard right now I will get to the real reason I wanted to write this post, but, I will always remember the Saturday morning trips to Hardee’s where we would order Cinnamon and Raisin Biscuits and sit and talk, watching The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer  on days we would stay home “sick”, and those trips to Burger King on our way home because she liked the taste of their fountain Coca-cola even though we had two cases of the can version at home and how these memories and so many others will constantly remind me, as a new parent, that all of my vein worries of how much I think I need to provide for my son and how many things we think we need as a family will all fade away someday and he will be left with the times we spent as father and son and any faith and wisdom that will come from that as it did from my mom to me.

It hit me around the end of January and I have been thinking about it ever since.  After her death I started really looking back at her life and how she lived it, after all a life well-lived should be a life well-remembered, and I kept thinking about an ideal that she exhibited and passed along to me, but never through any verbal explanation.  Before her fight with cancer I had always thought that it was just the way she was, but the more I saw her through the sickness and the more I look at her well-marked Bible the more I think that it was an intentional effort and was one of her ways of being set apart, and it comes from one of my interpretations of John 15:13, which says, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”  There is the obvious reference to Jesus laying down his life for us, his friends and the first pictures that go through my head when I read this verse or hear it read usually resemble a scene from a movie where the very noble character jumps in front of a friend who is about to be shot or finds themselves in a situation where the villian is about to kill someone and you stop everything and say something like ”no, take me instead” but, I think there is another way to look at this verse (after all, how many of us find ourselves in some dark alley late at night presented with the choice of giving our lives for another), one that my mom lived on a daily basis.  When you think of laying down your life for your friends, think of laying down (what you think your life should be) for your friends.  I think it means putting aside your agenda for the; day, week, month, year.  All of the things you think you need to do or get done or accomplish, and use that time as an investment into someone else.  Find out what they like to do, what they are interested in, what their hopes for life are and spend that time doing it with them (even, and especially, if that is not what you like to do, are interested in, hope for…).  I think Janis Cooper lived this.  She was always interested in what you wanted to do and was always eager to go along with whatever it was as long as she could share something that you loved with you. 

Out of all the things that Janis Cooper was to me, this is the one thing that has stood out in my mind during the last three months.  I hope to honor the example she set by continually adding more of this to my life, and in doing so; truly love my family and friends.

I have often been criticized for my view on sports, and not wanting to clutter this one with endless rants on how much I hate Peyton Manning and the Duke Blue Devils, I opted to give them their own home.  Sports is a topic where I am just fine with being illogical, irrational, sophistic, loony and any other word you may think of as you read these thoughts (plus I found a way to blogroll myself).  So, if you are having a rough day and are looking for a good laugh, or if you are bored and would like to spend some time wondering ‘how could someone think that?’, click on over to saltsticksports.wordpress.com and I think you will be satisfied.

In July of 2001 my wife (Carol) and I moved from Denver to Tulsa after she had been hired by the First United Methodist of Owasso.  Her first duty as youth minister was to take her new youth group to an annual event called Youth Force which is a week long mission work project sponsered by the United Methodist Church in Oklahoma.  Youth group’s from around the state travel to various host cities each summer and spend the week working on different homes in the community.  Carol and I both grew up in church and both agree that Youth Force is one of the best and most well run youth events that we have ever attended.  When Carol returned from her first Youth Force she was noticeably rejuvenated and even more excited about the possibilities of the youth group and our new church home.  She could also not stop talking about one youth from the church that she rode with in the van on the trip.  “Keith, I can’t wait for you to meet Garett.  I think you’re going to love this kid.  He sat up front with me on the way and we talked almost the entire drive.  He was even asking questions about how we met and what our wedding was like.”  (As I begin to tell this story it is hard not to talk about the other members of this youth group that have had such an impact in our lives; Aaron, Stacie, Amy, Corey, Leighton, etc., but for the sake of the salt stick’s origins I guess I will “stick” with Garett-centric stories for now, and leave those for other posts.)  I finally got to meet Garett and she was right.  After a few weeks we found out that we were a lot alike, and to her dismay a lot more alike than she had thought at first.  Well, since she returned from that first Youth Force I wanted to make sure that I planned my vacation around going on next year’s trip.  We were newlyweds without any children so we spent that year very involved in the life of the youth group and church. (Sorry, another side note.  I don’t know if there are any church’s that do this, but it would probably be wise to interview the spouse of any applicant for full-time work because in most cases the church is really hiring two people for that one position, especially in youth work.  Thankfully for Carol, it was not a practice of this church because I am a terrible interviewee, and we would still be living in Denver and still unable to afford a house). 

The 2002 Youth Force was in Clinton, and for me it was one of those incredible week’s that will keep you doing youth work for the rest of your life.  I don’t think there was one specific moment that stands out from that trip but the combined memories and the foundation that we started is what I will remember.  I have always thought that there is something to be said about sleeping in the same room or house with another person.  There is something that is achieved by doing more than seeing someone at a place for a couple of hours and then going home.  You get to see what someone is like when they are tired and falling asleep, what they look like when they wake-up, any unique habits they may have, and there is a level of trust that you need to let yourself fall asleep around someone else (especially in a room full of high school boys from your church).  I don’t know if it was this but something happened on that trip that seemed to solidify our place in the youth group. 

In 2003 the church decided to travel to West Monroe, Louisiana and attend a Youth Force hosted by a church that had been coming to Oklahoma for a few years and wanted to do one of their own.  At each Youth Force there is a video team that travels to the different sites during the day and then shows a recap of the day during that night’s worship.  It is a great way to see other sites that you are not working on and after Youth Force is over the video team usually sends out a video to each church.  Garett and I were doing some video work then and wanted to start doing more, and that video team showed us the equipment and software they used, answered our questions and gave us some good advice.  I think it was at this point that we started talking about doing the video for Youth Force some year and possibly more after that.  On the way home from Louisiana I was driving a van we affectionately call “Blue Madness”, it was getting pretty dark, and after a week of work we were all very tired.  Somewhere in Southeastern Oklahoma Garett, who was sitting right behind me, started a running commentary on everything we were passing.  We were the only two people awake in the van and for the next three hours Garett talked about everything, including a McDonald’s that we passed along the way.  He spent about twenty minutes talking about how much salt McDonald’s dumped on their french fries, and wondered why they didn’t just call them salt sticks instead of french fries.  I know Garett was just trying to help me stay awake but I was laughing so hard by the time he finished that I knew it was actually funny and not a product of too much driving and not enough sleep.

I don’t remember what year but sometime after this happened Garett and I were sitting around trying to think of a name for the video production company that we wanted to start and I said, “why don’t we name it salt stick productions?”.  He laughed, said something sarcastic, and then we agreed that it was by far the best name we had thought of and also a great memory.  We also agreed that we needed to think of a more substantial meaning that we could offer for the term “salt stick” besides, “it is what McDonald’s should have named their french fries”.  I tried to think of something that would fit both of us and would represent the company we wanted to start.  I will apologize now because I know that this is just what this world needs; another term with a special meaning for a group of people (in this case two), i.e. “promise keeper”,  but hopefully the thoughts behind it will dispel any term we try to assign. 

Here is what we came up with: 

stick – It may be a stretch but physically, if we are standing up, we all resemble the basic shape of a french fry.  And, needless to say, just as each french fry is varied and unique, each of us are one of a kind.  I know this is awful, but we had to think of something and if you know Garett or I our definition of “stick” will not come as a surprise.

salt- This one was easy for me.  The Sermon on the Mount given by Jesus in chapters 5-7 of Matthew is the blueprint of how I try to live my life in service.  At the beginning of the chapter, right after the Beatitudes, is a short section on salt and light; 13″You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.” 14″You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

salt stick- A person (or company) that longs to remain salty while on this earth.  One that is a light to the world, not only giving light to their own house but to all people, and by being set apart, directs all praise to God.

If you have read this far, thank you.  In the interest of seeing who has been here, and if you don’t mind, leave a comment and say hello, or if you were a part of any of these memories I would love to hear your side of these stories.  Finally, if for some crazy reason you want to be a salt stick too, feel free, there is plenty of room on the bandwagon.